Members Blog 

2017 Captains Weekend
Not only did Stevie Shiells organise an excellent weekend he ordered the best weather seen at Skeggie since 1843. About quarter to seven.
Assembling on the usual Friday we enjoyed a Tuna salad lunch then on to the course for the first affray.
This won by somebody, another person came second and I think there was a third.
The only cock up was John Lenaghan who had a hole in one at the twelfth. Fair play he went straight to the bar at 7.00 clock the next morning and bought everyone a drink. Well the cleaner had a lemonade. Well done done John, a hole in one and only spent 3s 11d.
Then on to the real stuff.
The below forties and some that think they are still below 40 headed off to Yates and the various other establishments where the decibel level is just above a jack hammer.
Those the know better off headed off to the salubrious Liberal Club. First thing we notice Charlotte is missing and no one is wailing on the stage.
Heavens to Betsy what has happened. We order 15 drinks pay over the £6 7s 3d (they don't have metric in the Liberal Club yet. The Chairman says as long as we are at war with the Germans he wont have that foreign currency in his club. His black and white TV is waiting for a replacement tube and he won't buy a paper with all that filthy muck they put in them these days.
You begin to get a feel what the ambience of the Liberal Club.

Trying to open a conversation with the barman who is half way through a session of sticky fingers was proving to be  a bit difficult. After it finishes it turns out there is an international darts tournament in progress. That means if you are a visitor from without (opposite of within) the Lincolnshire border then you play for the rest of the world.
This puts the advance posse of Lenaghan, Tommy the Tanker and Marr in a bit of a quandary. They have promised the rest of the over forties a night to remember and they will be here soon.
What to do? John remembers the Lamplighters club is just round the corner and also are prone to having top flight entertainment of a Friday evening. So we set off there. Christ on a bike they are all playing bingo. Sod it get some book, buy some dibbers and get a seat away in the corner and play the bingo.
Bingo is a bit like cutting your toenails but not as much fun.
The man next to me was marking the blank squares as he gets a bit bored doing it the normal way. That know how to set it up in Skeggie.
When we could stand no more excitement we set of to Yates to find the head bangers.
Too noisy we went home.
Got about three hours sleep as did Tommy the tanker as they had some issues with he plumbing system. The technical term is "It is shyte"

Fresh from a crap nights sleep we were on the tee on Saturday morning. Then it went tits up when a bunch of freeloaders showed up. Miller, Abrahams, Savage, Freeman and the Kettering Asher.
I remember who won the Saturday golf, it was the Kettering Txxt who took the money and he is not even a member of Priors Hall. We all said well played Mark we hope you enjoyed yourself. I think Miller and Freeby also won something the freeloading bxsxxxds.
Move on, it is time to set off for another night on the town in the internationally renowned Skegness.
We get in to the Liberal Club and damn we have missed the first session of sticky fingers.
We get a seat which is not a good sign as that means the act is probably not over seventy and singing a variety of Englebert's hits.
Another round of bingo which proves embarrassing when Rab Goodall shouts house but he is still using the cards from the previous nights game. He is definitely a good example of why we should do away with state education.
Then on he comes, the nights star turn.
It is only Suggs out of Madness. Now I don't mind a bit of Madness and have been know to listen to him in the privacy of my own home when her indoors is out. But three and a half hours is a bit too much. Hence why there seats available.
A nights entertainment of sticky fingers, bingo, Suggs, sticky fingers, bingo, Suggs, the raffle and one final round of sticky fingers I will tell you, it lent itself to a pretty exciting evening. Suggs was supposed to do a final spot but we had a whip round and he pissed off early. We didn't give him the whip round we just told him to piss off.

Thankfully the free loaders had gone in the morning and we could go back to some friendly golf. The nicest thing Draper said to me on the 16th was 24 handicap you cheating bxsxxxd. I think he was upset he had gone from 3 up after 4 to losing on the sixteenth. That's what happens when you get two top golfers like me and Eamon together. We kicked their arse. Although I did play off 24. I really think two shots per hole is the way forward. But it is a bit hard trying to keep a tally on the points.
I think Trevor won that day, yours truly send and another person came third. I think it was Lenaghan because he asked Mike B to phone June and get the heating on.

Trevor won the overall, Good might have been second the cheating crab and I thin Lennie was third.
Well done Stevie and Nick for organising such a brilliant weekend. Some photos below of the Liberal Club and the presentation.


 








 

Country File Report
Recently we had the BBC country file team at Priors Hall doing a piece on golf courses and how wild life has recovered from industrialised land usage. i.e. The old iron ore mines.
They spotted many species that would be expected to populate this type of environment but also some unexpected species.
As expected there was the young whippersnappers who cursed every time they realised that their ability was a lot lower than their ego, the snail paced geriatric, the Scottish immigrants constantly annoyed at the world and it's mother and the smug faced windows hitting it out of the sticks.
However they did spot a previously unknown species that has now been recorded in the Watsonian museum as a new species.
It is the lesser spotted wetland trolley dipper. Feeding primarily on egg and chips, ham and chips, anything and chips, and occasionally chips and chips. When it can't get chips it will resort to a full English in leaner times.
Mating usually takes place once a week after a session at it's local social habitat.
An excitable species that is only usually heard from two or three fairway's away.
This one was caught scavenging in the pond to the right of the eleventh green and eventually it did catch a runaway trolley that it took back to it's lair.

You should notice how resilient a creature it is. It does not even have to remove it's head plumage when it is diving for it's chips.

Thank you to John Craven for the photographs and allowing us to share the local wildlife with our members.



     





A special thank you to Mick Smyth without whose contribution we would not have had a show.
Thank you to Darren Buchan (Thee original Jacket) and Alan Green for the photographs.

Jack

 

05 04 15
Digit Deficit Competition Supplementary Information.

Tommo has postulated that under the rule of supplementary digit (i.e. a digit or member above and beyond the subscribed minimum) that Weldonians do carry an extra digit on each hand. This is a result of many years of inter breeding with various species apart from humanoids, cousins, sisters etc. Thus Draper has decreed that any Council Tax paying resident of Weldon and it's surrounding areas could be considered for entry to the Digit Deficit competition. The most obvious ones will be the empty cranium coterie but to include the supplementary digit members as well.
Given this additional information Draper, who happens to be included in the list, has decreed that Weldonians can now participate in the afore said competition.
Additional inductees will be Asher and Millar who will have an digit additional operation this week so he can become part of the community as well as play in the competition

Hi six
R Draper
Competitions Chairman

ps. A coterie is
a small group of people with shared interests or tastes, especially one that is exclusive of other people.

In Weldon they tend to be groups of locals who congregate around lamp posts (in local vernacular called Leisure Centres) ruminating on the days activities such as the following.

i.e.. "We moved the cows down to the lower field today."  Which is replied to with statements such as "Ahr that will be better for em" and " we can move em back next week" "Ahr"
Or
"The man in the shop has got some of them round eggs in made of chocolate" Reply "Yar I think I will get me wife, sister cousin one of them" " How many do you need then" " Just the one" "Ahr"

27 03 15
Digit Deficit Competition Update




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